“I don`t know what to do anymore. We argue almost every day. We argue about everything and about nothing. Often, when I try to make her understand, to explain something to her, I have a feeling that none of my reasoning works just because she hates the very sound of my voice. There are days I want to leave forever. But there are kids… I hate the idea of hurting them. I am lost.”
The relationship crisis may happen to everybody. Sometimes more than once in a lifetime. A relationship crisis is hard and painful, and many families are unable to survive it without help. However, quite often, the relationship crisis is no one`s fault. They can occur no matter how good you are as a husband or wife. No matter how hard you try to respond to your spouse’s needs and expectations. Some psychologists even think that it is a normal stage of a relationship.
People change during their lifetime… Sometimes, two people who fell in love many years ago suddenly realize that the person who made them feel so happy just by being beside them has changed so dramatically that they now live with a complete stranger. The change is always gradual and people don`t feel it, as the proverbial frog didn`t feel the water gradually getting warmer. You can, however, make yourself aware that things are going wrong by asking yourself some simple questions.
Do you still enjoy talking to each other? Do you spend any time together “just for fun”? Can you relax and “be yourself” near your partner? Do you feel that you are on the same team? If you answered no to any of these questions, it is a worrisome signal. It might be a good idea to start rediscovering the stranger you used to know so well.
People’s Languages of Love change during their lifetime… In the beginning, you were both speaking the language of sensual touch and you were both happy about it. After a certain time, you may discover that your partner doesn’t believe in your love, no matter how hard you try to show it. It is not your fault, you just speak different Languages of Love. It might be a good idea to learn the love language of your loved one.
People’s ideas about family change during their lifetime… Sometimes, you start to feel that it might be a good idea to begin discovering which Family Models your partner values, and how well they fit your own Family Model.
Just like a fire in your fireplace, the love needs you two to take care of it. Both of you. Otherwise, the flame will go out. And yes, you have to learn how to take care of your love so it will survive all the changes in your life.
If you need support in this area, our Crisis Management & Support Specialist – Boris Rozenberg can work with you. Learn more.